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"Every time some famous man is on display with his White woman, a lot of my friends will have something negative to say or something that seems like they feel betrayed, as if that man is a representation of all Black men," Brooks says.Thankfully, she has armed herself with the data that more than 70 percent of Black men are married to Black women.
The immediate thought for many is, With all the gorgeous, accomplished Black women available, why didn't he choose one of us?My struggles as a Black woman leading a legal department of a multistate corporation have just gone away? "It was almost like they treated it as if I had switched sides, and I was no longer down for the cause because I married a White guy. It's also not fair to him."Initially a few members of Michael's family were not supportive of the relationship."He told his family, "I am marrying this woman, so either you're on board or you're going to have to watch from the sidelines,"" says Meador."These are professional people who work with all races and ethnicities. They were supportive in the end, but we still have issues today."Meador, who describes herself as a "chocolate, thick girl with locs," says she and her husband, Michael, 31, have clashed with her pals.She and her best friend even stopped talking for a month over a disagreement about something Michael, a Republican, had posted on Facebook."[My friends] said, "Asia, you were so down for the cause." I'm like, "I'm not down for the cause anymore?Harvey Hargrove, Jr., 41, a sales representative in Sacramento, California, knows the pushback that can come from relatives when we marry across race lines.
When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.
"There are some who really think that White or non-Black women are superior," Brooks says.
"I don't want these men anyway, because I'm not trying to be a part of somebody's intellectual development as a partner." Many of the sisters in her circle take the fact that some Black guys prefer women who don't look like their mothers personally.
So it's no wonder we're thrilled for Black women who have found love—no matter the ethnicity of their partner.
Though Black men are still twice as likely as Black women to date outside their race, it seems more and more of us are becoming open to dating beyond the color line.
"I have no doubt that I'm going to find the love that I want.