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Dating and relating lj

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I'm sure as you're reading, you're thinking about people in your own family who fall on the spectrum of difficult.

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Maybe they are lacking in self-esteem, they are coping with their own bitterness and regret, or they don't have the emotional strength or motivation to create positive change in their lives.It's always good to begin these conversations with something positive.You can mention how much you value them and the relationship.I have another friend whose father had a borderline mental illness.He was sane enough that he appeared “normal” — but he really had the emotional maturity of a teenager.If you can intellectually understand the source of your family member's behaviors, then make an intellectual decision about how you want to treat this person in spite of their behaviors.

Attempting to punish them with your anger or retribution won't change their behavior if they are so entrenched in their own “stuff.” Make a rational decision about who you want to be around this person, and practice being that person even if you don't feel it right away.

It is extremely difficult to release these painful feelings in healthy ways with your parent, especially if they are received with more bad behavior or rejection.

Issues with difficult siblings can also disrupt your life and cause you pain, although generally they don't cause the turmoil that a difficult parent can create.

Or it could be they have some kind of mental illness — like depression, a personality disorder, or narcissism.

When you understand the pain and experiences of your difficult family member, you will often have more compassion for them.

He was manipulative, self-absorbed, and often inappropriate.